Drug Addiction

Drug addiction is a powerful demon that can sneak up on you and take over your life before you know it has even happened. What started out as just a recreational lifestyle has overcome your life and affected every single aspect of it.

You don’t have to be caught up in the web of drug addiction. There are so many things you can do to get yourself clean and sober, and there’s no better time than the present. Overcoming drug addiction is a long and often painful process.

Leading a clean lifestyle is something that is well within your reach. You now have the tools you need – go out and heal yourself. Remember that a thousand mile journey always begins with one step and to take it one day at a time.

You can do it!

The statistics are alarming. Teen drug abuse is and has been on the rise for many years. Consider the following numbers calculated in 2012:

• 8th grade -- 30.3%
• 10th grade -- 44.9%
• 12th grade -- 52.8%

Those numbers measure the percentage of teenagers who regularly use illegal drugs of some type. Just within the last month, 50 percent of teens report drinking alcohol with 37 percent saying they had been drunk on at least one occasion. Alcohol kills 5 times more teenagers than any other drug – mostly from accidents.

It’s scary to think that our young people are being exposed to drugs at a much earlier age, and they are much more susceptible to peer pressure. When their friends offer up drugs, they often don’t have the strength to say no, so they begin the frightening cycle of drug abuse.

In recent years, much has been learned about the health effects of teen drug use. Drugs are readily available to those who choose to use them in either an “experimental” way or to those who are chronic drug abusers. The consequence of such use, even causal use, can be devastating to both the user and to the user’s family members.

But, teen drug use is costly to more than just families. It is especially costly to our society as a whole. Youth’s immature physical, emotional, and psychological development make them MORE susceptible than adults to the harmful effects of drug abuse.

In the 7 years that the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University has published the National Survey of American Attitudes on Substance Abuse, results have indicated that teens and their parents view drugs as their biggest concern.

The health effects of teen drug use can vary, depending on such factors as frequency of use, the kind of drug taken, how much is taken, how quickly it gets into the brain, what other drugs are taken at
the same time, the differences in body size and chemistry, the length of time the drugs are used, and other components.

Why do teens use drugs? Of course, peer pressure is a huge factor, but they succumb to peer pressure for many other reasons. Low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, inability to express feelings, lack of control, and feeling like they have to live up to unrealistic parental expectations all contribute to the teen beginning to use drugs. Plus, many teens are affected by watching their parents’ own addictive behaviors

Trying to deal with issues revolving around the family upon such an escalated level proves extremely difficult when children of alcoholic parents cannot even function normally regarding their own lives. This situation often spawns a codependency syndrome that follows the child throughout his or her entire life; codependency has long been found to be a significant indicator of alcoholism

And, believe it or not, parents who overindulge their children may be dealing with a teenager drug user before they know it. Many parents spoil their children not only with toys and gadgets but also by not setting limits for them. That freedom leads them to make bad decisions about their lives which includes drug and alcohol use.

So how do you know if your teen is using drugs? There are some warning signs you should be looking for. When at home, see if any of these warning signs appear:

• loss of interest in family activities
• disrespect for family rules
• withdrawal from responsibilities
• verbally or physically abusive
• sudden increase or decrease in appetite
• disappearance of valuable items or money
• not coming home on time
• not telling you where they are going
• constant excuses for behavior
• spending a lot of time in their rooms
• lies about activities
• finding the following: cigarette rolling papers, pipes, roach clips, small glass vials, plastic baggies, remnants of drugs (seeds, etc.)

When it comes to school, there are also some indicators to watch for:

• sudden drop in grades
• truancy
• loss of interest in learning
• sleeping in class
• poor work performance
• not doing homework
• defiant of authority
• poor attitude towards sports or other extracurricular activities
• reduced memory and attention span
• not informing you of teacher meetings, open houses, etc.

Physically and emotionally, they may have one of the following behaviors:

• changes friends
• smell of alcohol or marijuana on breath or body
• unexplainable mood swings and behavior
• negative, argumentative, paranoid or confused, destructive, anxious
• over-reacts to criticism acts rebellious
• sharing few if any of their personal problems
• doesn't seem as happy as they used to be
• overly tired or hyperactive
• drastic weight loss or gain
• unhappy and depressed
• cheats, steals
• always needs money, or has excessive amounts of money
• sloppiness in appearance

If your teen exhibits six or more of these signs over a period of a few weeks, he or she probably is using drugs. You need to address it as soon as you suspect this to be true.

The most effective tool against teen drug use is communication. When you pair open communication with education, you have double the ammunition to fight drug use.

Your first inclination might be to get angry when you find out your teen is using drugs. This a normal reaction, but please know that anger and yelling will just turn your teen’s ears to the “off” position. You need to let your teen know you care about them and that you just want the best for them.

You must place responsibility for their actions on their own shoulders and make them accountable without doing so in a threatening manner. Honest, open communication is the key towards overcoming your teen’s problem – even before it becomes a problem.

Move on to the future and find things that you can do right now to help your teen. Try not to live in past; this will make the person you are trying to help agitated or upset. With addiction comes a lot of damage; material and emotional. In the wake of the episodes that the addict can create, remember that you are not alone. There are people around you that care. Those that have been and are in the trenches of this disease can help the addict when no one else can.

Counseling is a very effective way to help curb your teen’s drug use. By allowing your child to interact with a third party you will find that recovery often goes better, because often times the family is too emotionally close to the addict to be of any real help.

Please realize that you are the parents and you are not responsible for the disease of addiction. Get help before it is too late. Remember that this disease does not discriminate against anyone or anything.

No single treatment is appropriate for all teens which is why there are many places your teen can get help. Look for local programs geared towards teens and find a peer counselor who your teen can talk to. Teens relate to other teens and young people, so finding someone close to their own age can be very effective.

Match the treatment with the individual. If your teen’s drug use has gotten completely out of hand, you may want to look at an inpatient clinic. But try to find a clinic where other teens are being treated as well. If you send them to a program that has only adults in it, their chances of relapse are higher.

If you do put your teen in a treatment facility, be sure you participate in all of the activities that are asked of you. This is the perfect time for your teen to talk to you in a safe environment with a moderator. They are more likely to open up and say what they need to say in the clinic rather than at home.

Just as with adults, relapse is a very real possibility, neigh, a probability. Teens are going to be thrust back into the environment that they were in when they were users, so keep in mind that drug addiction is a very powerful mental disease and relapses are very likely to occur.

This is where patience and understanding come in. Talk with your teen and get them help and counseling to understand why they went back to drugs. When you tackle the psychological part of drug abuse, you have a better chance of helping your teen become drug free
.
It’s also important for you to educate your child BEFORE drug use becomes a problem. Again, we say, communicate openly and honestly with your child and arm them with as much information as you can possibly find. There has been a push to get drug information in the schools, but don’t leave it all up to them.

You are your child’s best defense against drugs. While they may be uncomfortable when you present them with information, they’ll thank you later in life. It’s kind of like having “the sex talk” – it’s awkward for both of you, but it’s something that is necessary.


Teach them how to say no without feeling guilty. Show them that they are a valued and loved person and that they have the right to refuse something that is not good for them. Tell them the types of people to avoid and the things they can say if they are offered drugs or find themselves in a compromising situation.

As a parent, you will need your own support to deal with this difficult situation. There are two great organizations that are there to help parents of drug addicted teens.


They are:
www.becauseiloveyou.org and www.familiesanonymous.org

Both of these organizations have a multitude of information on their websites. They provide you with tools to help attack the problem and deal with your own mental health as well as that of your child. Families Anonymous is also very helpful with anyone who has a loved one who is addicted to drugs.

Support groups can be very powerful in helping you remain strong for your child. They can then draw off that strength and remain drug-free. You are your child’s best weapon against the things out there in the world that want to harm them. Don’t let them down.

Meditation can be a very effective way to overcome the powerful reactions that occur in your mind during drug withdrawal. Your inner voices will be telling you all sorts of different things when you are trying to get off drugs. If you recognize these damaging inner voices and take steps to calm them, your chance to successfully recover is significantly increased.

If you take a moment and practice some meditation techniques, your body will calm and those voices will go away. We could make an entire book on meditation – in fact, we have! However, following are some basic meditation exercises you can try.

First, you need to be in a quiet place free of distractions. Get comfortable and allow yourself a little bit of time to relax and be open to the meditations. You will be focusing your mind on an object of thought or awareness and acknowledging where your mindset is now and where you want it to be.

The first stage in meditation is to stop distractions and make your mind more lucid and clearer. This can be accomplished through simple breathing meditation. Sit in a position that is comfortable for you. You may want to try sitting cross legged keeping your spine straight and resting your arms comfortably in your lap.

Close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Breathe naturally through your nose. Don’t try to control your breathing, simply become aware of the air coming in and out of your nose. Feel the sensation of the breath with each inhalation and exhalation.

At first, your mind will be very busy and you might think the meditation isn’t working. But what you are doing is becoming aware of just how busy your mind is. Resist following thoughts as they arise. Just concentrate on your breaths and how they feel. If you find your mind wandering, just bring it back to the breathing. Keep doing this as many times as is necessary.

Meditation requires great patience. You can’t control your thoughts unless you train yourself to do so. Practice breathing meditation as often as you can. With time and practice, you will find
yourself slipping into the state of mind you need to be in much quicker.

When you exhale, you may want to try humming or repeating a word over and over. We like to use the word “Peace” or “Serenity”, but you can choose whatever word will calm you.

Buddhist meditation suggests that you say your chosen phrase or word during inhalation. Their phrase is generally “Ham Sah” which means “I am that.” Then when you exhale, say “Saah” which should sound like a sigh. They find this very relaxing and it helps them get in touch with their inner thoughts.

In researching this book, we found a great website you may want to visit. At www.learningmeditation.com, you can go to their meditation room where they have various recorded meditations you can listen to that will help you relax and feel renewed. When you concentrate on the voice that is speaking, you can become more focused and relax.

Another good technique is to picture a relaxing place for you. This might be a sunny beach or in a warm bath. Wherever you are most relaxed is where you should picture in your head. Imagine you are there and feel the sensations that the image conjures up.

You can also use progressive muscle relaxation to get rid of your stress. PMR involves concentrating on one part of the body at a time. Start with your right leg. Tighten the muscles in your leg and hold the tightening for a few seconds – a count of ten perhaps. Then relax those muscles feeling the sensation that you get with that relaxation. Move on to each part of your body using the same technique until you have covered them all.

Exercise is great for stress relief. You may want to look into yoga classes. Yoga is a very spiritual exercise method and can do wonders for stress relief. Tai Chi is another spiritual form of exercise that requires you to concentrate on your body rather than your mind. When you do that, you will find yourself becoming much more relaxed and able to cope with the world.

There is one aspect of drug addiction that we haven’t addressed yet, and we would be remiss if we didn’t acknowledge this growing problem.

You did not become a drug addict overnight. It was a long process occurring over a period of, perhaps, several years that turned into a dependence on those drugs. You began using probably primarily because you needed an escape. It’s very important that you remove anything in your life that could cause you to begin using again.

This begins with changing your life and the people around you. Your friends probably played a big role in getting you to start using in the first place. Peer pressure is difficult to overcome and when you are around people using drugs, your recovery is seriously compromised.

Many people hate this part of drug recovery. But you have to keep in mind what is best for you. True friends will stay with you and maybe even help you. Those who got you to use in the first place will be the ones who will stay away from you. Their drug use will be much more important to them than you are. Remember this.

During initial recovery stages, you will want to avoid situations where you might be tempted to use. For example, if you are trying to stop drinking, keep away from social situations and locations that may make it more difficult for you to not drink. That means no bars or clubs and not going to parties where alcohol is served. Think about the places where you used drugs and avoid them at all costs.

Eventually, you will become stronger and more able to resist the temptation especially after a period of time has passed.

We can’t stress enough the advantages of counseling during drug withdrawal. The biggest mistake you can make is to not seek help. You have a very powerful force working in you wanting you to use again. Therapy can help you stay strong against these inner demons and teach you new ways to deal with stress and anxiety that could have pushed you towards drugs in the first place.

Even if you are not a religious person, it’s a good idea to acknowledge that there is a higher power affecting our lives. We are here for a reason and came to be what we are because of certain factors that we just can’t explain.

For example, there is a set of unwritten “rules” that we just know for no explainable reason. Those rules came from a higher power. Whether you call him (or her) God, Buddha, or whatever, that power exists somewhere.

This book isn’t meant to be a religious dissertation, so we’ll let you make whatever decision you need to regarding this higher power, but please know that your recovery will be much easier when you have this power in your life.

You may want to explore some other avenues for peace in your mind and body.

Anytime someone needs help but refuses to accept it, a family intervention is appropriate. A family intervention can be used for people engaged in any self-destructive behavior and especially appropriate for addicts.

Intervention is the most loving, powerful and successful method yet for helping people accept help. A family intervention can be done with love and respect in a non-confrontational, non-judgmental manner. A family intervention is often the answer, the only answer. It can be done. It can be done now.

It certainly is not an easy decision to make when you are considering intervention for a loved one’s problems. But if you are able to handle it in a loving, caring manner, you will be giving that loved one a gift that they will appreciate – eventually!

The first thing that needs to be done is that all family members and friends who might be able to make a difference must agree on a time and place to meet. It’s a good idea to contact a professional counselor to help you.

You may initially be apprehensive and confused. Members participating in the intervention may be ambivalent about whether or not to actually do the intervention. Some may be afraid of the person, others may be angry. The goal is to move from this disorganized and chaotic state to a cohesive, focused group.

To do this, the participants meet with the leader beforehand to educate themselves about the dysfunction, to determine how to best help themselves, and to prepare for Intervention Day. This includes identifying others who should be involved , exploring appropriate treatment options, and preparing what they are going to say.

This preparation often involves several meetings, telephone calls, and culminates in a practice session immediately prior to the Intervention Day. The time varies, but the process is usually contained within one to two weeks. Sometimes it can be shortened to a weekend.

It is important for all of you to meet prior to Intervention Day so that you can discuss what steps will be taken and how you will be approaching the person you are trying to help. Remember that you need to work together as a unit and decide what will be said beforehand.

You then need to get the person you want to help to actually show up. This can be accomplished in many ways. Use your imagination and say what you have to in order for the addicted person to arrive at the designated place.

There is no absolute right way to intervene in someone else's life. In fact, there is a school of thought that argues that any form of intervention is abhorrent, a violation of free speech and of an individual's right to choose. Nevertheless, as individuals and as a society we are always influencing others whether or not we want to, and sometimes we decide to intervene purposefully.

Intervention can be simple or it can be more involved. The decision about what type of intervention to conduct must be up to all participating parties.

A simple intervention is exactly what it sounds like. You simply ask the person you are intervening for to get help for their problem. Believe it or not, sometimes this works incredibly well. Often an addict is just waiting for someone else to acknowledge their problem before they do. Once they know that everyone can see the problem, they are given permission to seek help with the support of their family and friends.

If a situation has reached dangerous proportions where a person’s life is in danger, a crisis intervention is necessary. Crisis Interventions occur in dangerous situations involving reckless driving, weapons, hospital emergency rooms, or violence or threats of violence. It is obvious in these situations that a person is in immediate danger to himself or others.

The immediate objective in these cases is to calm the crisis and to create safety for all. Remember, a crisis often creates golden opportunities for family members to help someone accept help.

A classical intervention requires all attention to be focused on the addict. Participants are often asked to talk with the addict and tell them what their addiction has done to them personally. It’s very important to be brutally honest during these discussions. Let it all go – this is the perfect opportunity.

Expect the addict to be defensive. That’s normal. They will probably deny that they even have a problem at all. They’ll most likely yell and scream or try to get away. The purpose of an intervention is to get everyone’s feelings out into the open, so the person you are trying to help should not be allowed to leave the room. However, avoid violence.

Your ultimate goal with an intervention is to persuade your loved one to get help with his or her addiction. If it’s bad enough to warrant an intervention, you will probably want to suggest an in-patient rehabilitation center. At the very least, you should have the names and numbers of several different services they can turn to for help.

Be sure that your tone is sympathetic but helpful and that the person you are trying to help knows without a doubt that they have your support. Intervention can be an effective tool in the process of recovery, but it must be handled in the right way which is why we strongly suggest the help of a professional.

There are certain things that can severely hinder the recovery process.

Your family probably already knows you have a drug addiction. If they don’t, admitting your dependence to them is a crucial step towards recovery. Sit them down and be as honest with them as you have been with yourself. It probably won’t be fun and it most likely won’t be pretty, but as soon as you have that off of your chest, you’ll be free to start pursuing your goal of being drug-free.

Tell your family members that you want their support in your endeavor and that it’s important for you to know that you can count on them to give that support. If they don’t, just accept it and move on yourself. Some people just can’t be that strong, but if you are sincere in your request, they will most likely be as supportive as you need them to be.

Your family needs to be supportive without becoming enablers. Remind them that you need them to be supportive of your decision and be available if you need to talk. But also tell them that it is not their responsibility to cover up your mistakes, relapses, or problems.

At all times, you need to respect them and show them that you appreciate their support. As difficult as it might be for you, it’s doubly as difficult for them to watch you going through the pain that you are.
As a family member, here are some things you can do to support your addict.

• Remind them to attend any meetings they need to (AA, NA, etc.)
• Do not loan them money
• Participate in group therapy if asked
• Encourage them to eat healthy and exercise
• Point out when they are engaging in damaging behavior
• Be open to listen when he or she wants to talk
• Don’t try to solve all their problems

You may have to change the way you celebrate family events. This is especially true with people who are trying to overcome alcohol addiction. Often, when some families get together, alcohol is a big part of the celebration. Be understanding if your family member with a problem doesn’t want to attend a function.

Try to keep alcohol in a separate place where they can’t get to it. DO NOT, under any circumstances poke fun at them or try to get them to join in. They are having a hard enough time as it is – they don’t need “peer” pressure on top of it all.

Generally, most families play certain roles during the addiction and recovery process. See if you or your family fits into any of these roles:

• The Addict: The person with the addiction is at the center. They are not necessarily most important, however, they will be the center of attention. After all, their addiction is the issue at hand. The rest of you will assume other roles around the addict.

• The Hero: This is the person who feels they have to make all family members “look good” in the eyes of others. They often ignore the problem and present things in a positive light as if the problem didn’t exist. The Hero is the perfectionist demanding more of The Addict than he or she can provide.

• The Mascot: The Mascot will often try to inject humor into the situation. Sometimes this humor is inappropriate and can hinder the recovery process. The Mascot is also the cheerleader providing support where possible.
• The Lost Child: This is the silent person who always seems to be in the way or left out. They are quiet and reserved not making problems. The Lost Child gives up self needs and tries to avoid conversation regarding the problem.

• The Scapegoat: This person often acts out in front of others. They divert attention from The Addict and the problems that you are all facing together.

• The Caretaker: This person is the enabler. They try to keep the whole family happy and keep all roles in balance. They often make excuses for The Addict’s behavior and puts on a happy front for outsiders. The Caretaker denies that there’s any problem and usually never mention anything about addiction or recovery.

The parts played by family members lead to codependency. Members make decisions concerning what the other person needs. Codependency leads to aversion and lack of self orientation in a situation where an addiction is present. Ultimately people "become" the part they are playing.

The goal in alcohol and drug addiction recovery is to bring each member as a whole into a situation where the problems can be dealt with. Individual talents and abilities should be integrated into the situation, allowing emotional honesty about the situation, without guilt or punishment.

People become familiar with and dependent on the role they play in families. In overcoming the family roles, you will begin to overcome issues, and what could be classified as the addiction to the role. While conquering the substance is important to the person with the addiction, a point to remember is the substance(s) is not the key to family recovery, removing the underlying roles are.

In beginning recovery, each family member must become proactive against the addiction to the role, and learn to become their true self. The goal is for each to person to become independent, and then approach the substance addiction recovery as a group of individuals, rather than as people playing a part. Whole, independent people can freely contribute to the recovery of the person overcoming the addiction, while a person playing a part can only perform the role.

Each family member must realize which role they play and then start thinking about how to change that role or make it work to the advantage of The Addict. Working together is a must when it comes to getting a loved one off of drugs. Make a list of strengths and weaknesses then assess that list to see how you can use your strengths to help The Addict without bringing your weaknesses into play.

Realize that the process and that role contributes in some way toward helping. Family members should acknowledge their individual parts in this process and acknowledge that they have an integral role that in unique to them. Each person is just as important as the other.

As a family, you have to prepare to be flexible. Overcoming drug addiction is a difficult journey – one that is met with bumps and dips and curves. Life can change from day to day even hour to hour. You need to “roll with the punches” and adapt to whatever situation is thrown at you in the whole process.
As a family member, you may want to consider having an intervention. How do you do that?

It is nearly impossible to effectively journey down the path to recovery without realizing that you deserve to be drug-free. Building your self-esteem requires effort on your part, and, just like during your self-assessment, it also requires personal honesty. Building self esteem helps not only with personal acceptance, but with staying strong during your recovery as well.

To begin with, you need to answer a few questions:

• Do I deserve happiness in my life?
• Should I expect to be accepted by others?
• What do I want out of life?

When you answer these questions honestly, you can begin to acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses. Accepting that you have certain strengths and weaknesses can help you concentrate on the parts of you that need to be worked on and what can help you through.

Remember, you are a unique individual and are no less worthy than anyone else in what you deserve from life. If you hesitated to answer, or answered negatively to any of the questions above, please keep reading. You create your own tomorrow today. Changing a thought process or your inner expectations is essential to recovery.

Positive affirmations are very important in building your self esteem. They will become your mantra as you work on the parts of you that you want to change. They can also be helpful when you are feeling weak during the recovery process.

A positive affirmation can be anything you want it to be, but it must be positive! Here are a few to consider:

• I deserve to be happy.
• I am a person worthy of respect and acceptance from those around me.
• It’s OK to accept a compliment
• I believe that my life has meaning.
• I am a wonderful person who deserves to be sober.
• When I become more confident, I can do anything.
• I am strong and can make it through today.
• I am more than a body, I am a soul and a heart and a spirit and those are parts of me that have to heal so I can be healthy.

Look in the mirror, look into your own eyes, and recite your affirmation over and over again. Change your mindset from not believing what you say to wholeheartedly accepting that it is the truth. Do this several times a day if you have to. Eventually, you’ll start believing what you say without having to quiet down those negative thoughts when they creep in.

A part of having low self esteem involves self pity. Feeling sorry for yourself when things get rough is a common factor among people with low self esteem and especially among addicts. Many people listen to their negative inner voices because it’s become a way of life. Self pity robs you of the joys of life and makes you helpless against your inner demons.

When bad things happen to you, try to focus on the positive things that can come of it. Make time for yourself to recite your positive affirmations. Work hard on focusing on the positives of life. When you’re overwhelmed, think, “I’m still alive and I need to be thankful for that.”

You may want to try mind mapping. This is a technique used by teachers all over the world and it can do wonders for you when keeping in mind your ultimate goals.

Take a piece of paper and make a circle in the center. Inside that circle, write one of your goals. Then take a line and draw it out from the circle. On that line, write a way you can go about achieving that goal. You may want to list things to avoid by starting with “Don’t” or “Not”. Make as many “feelers” as you need to.
Once you have your mind map done, carry it with you or post it someplace where you will see it every day. When you have the map to refer to, you will be focusing on your goals and getting away from what will hold you back from seeing those goals realized.

Another step towards building self esteem is to realize that you, as a person, have certain rights. These rights extend to more than just those guaranteed in the constitution. We’re talking about moral and ethical rights that you are entitled to. These include the right to:

• Make your own decisions
• Pleasing yourself before you try to please others
• Dignity and respect
• Say “No” if you don’t want to do something
• Live without abuse and control from others
• Make mistakes and then learn from them
• Be treated like you treat others, which should be respectfully

The foundation for building self esteem to engage in codependency and addiction recovery, is built by returning to the child of innocence within. Study and do your own work to become whole, remember this is for your healing. Each person is different and becoming whole will depend on what an individual's experiences have been. The only person in your life at all times and the only one who knows the truth from your perspective is you. Stand for the truth in you.

Having the support of your family is also crucial during your recovery period. If you are a family member who has a loved one with an addiction, this is an especially important chapter for you.