BUILDING YOUR SELF-ESTEEM

It is nearly impossible to effectively journey down the path to recovery without realizing that you deserve to be drug-free. Building your self-esteem requires effort on your part, and, just like during your self-assessment, it also requires personal honesty. Building self esteem helps not only with personal acceptance, but with staying strong during your recovery as well.

To begin with, you need to answer a few questions:

• Do I deserve happiness in my life?
• Should I expect to be accepted by others?
• What do I want out of life?

When you answer these questions honestly, you can begin to acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses. Accepting that you have certain strengths and weaknesses can help you concentrate on the parts of you that need to be worked on and what can help you through.

Remember, you are a unique individual and are no less worthy than anyone else in what you deserve from life. If you hesitated to answer, or answered negatively to any of the questions above, please keep reading. You create your own tomorrow today. Changing a thought process or your inner expectations is essential to recovery.

Positive affirmations are very important in building your self esteem. They will become your mantra as you work on the parts of you that you want to change. They can also be helpful when you are feeling weak during the recovery process.

A positive affirmation can be anything you want it to be, but it must be positive! Here are a few to consider:

• I deserve to be happy.
• I am a person worthy of respect and acceptance from those around me.
• It’s OK to accept a compliment
• I believe that my life has meaning.
• I am a wonderful person who deserves to be sober.
• When I become more confident, I can do anything.
• I am strong and can make it through today.
• I am more than a body, I am a soul and a heart and a spirit and those are parts of me that have to heal so I can be healthy.

Look in the mirror, look into your own eyes, and recite your affirmation over and over again. Change your mindset from not believing what you say to wholeheartedly accepting that it is the truth. Do this several times a day if you have to. Eventually, you’ll start believing what you say without having to quiet down those negative thoughts when they creep in.

A part of having low self esteem involves self pity. Feeling sorry for yourself when things get rough is a common factor among people with low self esteem and especially among addicts. Many people listen to their negative inner voices because it’s become a way of life. Self pity robs you of the joys of life and makes you helpless against your inner demons.

When bad things happen to you, try to focus on the positive things that can come of it. Make time for yourself to recite your positive affirmations. Work hard on focusing on the positives of life. When you’re overwhelmed, think, “I’m still alive and I need to be thankful for that.”

You may want to try mind mapping. This is a technique used by teachers all over the world and it can do wonders for you when keeping in mind your ultimate goals.

Take a piece of paper and make a circle in the center. Inside that circle, write one of your goals. Then take a line and draw it out from the circle. On that line, write a way you can go about achieving that goal. You may want to list things to avoid by starting with “Don’t” or “Not”. Make as many “feelers” as you need to.
Once you have your mind map done, carry it with you or post it someplace where you will see it every day. When you have the map to refer to, you will be focusing on your goals and getting away from what will hold you back from seeing those goals realized.

Another step towards building self esteem is to realize that you, as a person, have certain rights. These rights extend to more than just those guaranteed in the constitution. We’re talking about moral and ethical rights that you are entitled to. These include the right to:

• Make your own decisions
• Pleasing yourself before you try to please others
• Dignity and respect
• Say “No” if you don’t want to do something
• Live without abuse and control from others
• Make mistakes and then learn from them
• Be treated like you treat others, which should be respectfully

The foundation for building self esteem to engage in codependency and addiction recovery, is built by returning to the child of innocence within. Study and do your own work to become whole, remember this is for your healing. Each person is different and becoming whole will depend on what an individual's experiences have been. The only person in your life at all times and the only one who knows the truth from your perspective is you. Stand for the truth in you.

Having the support of your family is also crucial during your recovery period. If you are a family member who has a loved one with an addiction, this is an especially important chapter for you.